The Driver said he used to be a hunter and a fisherman, long ago. It broke his heart when he imagined what the marshes and meadows had been like only a hundred years before. “And when you think of the shit that most of these factories make-wash day products, catfood, pop-“
He had a point. The planet was being destroyed by manufacturing processes, and what was being manufactured was lousy, by and large.
Then Trout made a good point, too. "Well," he said, "I used to be a conservationist. I used to weep and wail about people shooting bald eagles with automatic shotguns from helicopters and all that, but I gave it up. There's a river in Cleveland which is so polluted that it catches fire about once a year. That used to make me sick, but I laugh about it now. When some tanker accidentally dumps its load in the ocean, and kills millions of birds and billions of fish, I say, 'More power to Standard Oil' or whoever it was that dumped it."
Trout raised his arms in celebration. "'Up your ass with Mobil gas,'" he said.
The driver was upset by this. "You're kidding," he said.
"I realized," said Trout, "that God wasn't any conservationist, so for anybody else to be one was sacrilegious and a waste of time. You ever see one of His volcanoes or tornadoes or tidal waves? Anybody ever tell you about the lce Ages he arranges for every half-million years? How about Dutch Elm disease? There's a nice conservation measure for you. That's God, not man. Just about the time we got our rivers cleaned up, he'd probably have the whole galaxy go up like a celluloid collar. That's what the Star of Bethlehem was, you know."
"What was the Star of Bethlehem?" said the driver.
"A whole galaxy going up like a celluloid collar," said Trout.
The driver was impressed. "Come to think about it," he said, "I don't think there's anything about conservation anywhere in the Bible."
"Unless you want to count the story about the Flood," said Trout.
-Breakfast of Champions by Kurt Vonnegut
I have to say Mr. Kilgore Trout is onto something here. Apathy exists in a way that allows us to surrender the anger we harbor over what we cannot change. Why is this important? Because up until November 2nd 2004 at approximately 10:30 pm eastern time I was driving myself crazy over this election like it was a life and death decision for the very soul of the people of America to make.
They went ahead and disappointed me for the last time. I feel like a Humphrey after he got stomped by Nixon. The democrats just simply gave up when LBJ decided not to run, honorable, but a dagger in the heart of the party. So what did their flock do? They became yuppies. Now I’m not that soulless, but that money angle sure is attractive right now. If I can’t do anything, if the country as a whole refuses to do anything, then I may as well look out for myself for a change. No longer will my decisions be based on outside influences. Every move I make will be to benefit myself, hell, I might even vote republican next time in an effort to sum up all that is self-concerning.
UP YOUR ASS WITH MOBIL GAS!